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Genevive's Grotto
Thoughts from a Husky
For all of you who are fascinated by the widgits of Macs or the Gadgets of Vista or just want to see a cool little thing, have I got an article for you. A friend of mine by the name of WillowFox has been developing both Widgits and Gadgets for his company AccuWeather.com.

That being said, he has entered the new Vista Gadget competition and would like for folks to vote for his accomplishment. So, take a look at the article and, if you feel so inclined, vote for this article. You will need to be a Codeproject user to vote, but it is free to sign up. Here is the url http://www.codeproject.com/gadgets/vistaweatherwidget.asp
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Well, this weekend was up and down. Had a decent FC Exec dinner, went home and played some freeroll poker and cribbage with Ken. On Sunday, I started the Sunday game and it was nice. It was nice to game with Tom again. Then that night, a few of us went to dinner at Black Angus and it wasn't too bad. It was actually fairly good, but Medium rare steak there is almost rare to me, so next time I should just go with Medium. Then, once I got home, I watched a movie called "Serendipity" with John Cusack. It was good if you like slightly off kilter romantic comedies.

Also watched the third disc from Season 1 of Numb3rs. I really like that show and might just break down and buy both series. I'm tempted to go ahead and buy Season two first and let Netflix send me the last disc of Season one still.

With all that went on this weekend, I laid down to go to bed last night about 12:45 and I felt disconnected. I felt like I was watching someone else's life. I didn't feel anything when I looked around the room, when I thought about various objects in the room, and many of those objects should have triggered some sort of emotion. This feeling is very troublesome and so I got up, went to my phone, IMed Ken (who I knew was still up) because I needed to reconnect so I could go to sleep. Thank goodness for long headset mic cords, Yahoo! with voice and best friends. I logged into Yahoo, plugged in my headset and climbed into bed after dialing Ken. I was able to leave the laptop on the desk and crawl into bed. I talked to him for a bit and started to feel more connected again. Finally, we decided that I needed to go to sleep, but I wasn't completely connected again. That was when Ken said that he would stay as I went off to sleep and decided to tell a story to our (IC) daughter, Corinne. Thank you very much, Ken. That means so much to me that you did that. It helped greatly.

And so, now I sit here at work, tired, not feeling that well to be honest. I do hope I'm not getting sick, but I am really tired and cotton headed. Maybe I just need more sleep and get back into a more regular routine.

Current Mood: sleepy sleepy

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In my previous I made reference to Star1013 and Don Bleu, right? Well, guess what? I just won tickets to his 27th Anniversary Party with the chance to win a 2 year lease on a Volvo S80. I am so looking forward to going with the chance to meet Don, he just seems a laugh riot. Unfortunately, the date hasn't been set in stone yet, so I don't know when it will be or where it will be or anything like that. That also means I don't know who to take with me either not having a clue when and where it is. I'm just excited to be on the radio again and, no, I did not scream. I might have sounded completely taken aback and excited, but not screaming. I'll do that later when I get in the car to go home. :D
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I would like to say thank you to all of you who have been supporting me throughout the past few years both emotionally and mentally. I am very blessed to have so many true friends to surround me in my hours of need. I believe I might have gone a bit more crazy had I not have you guys around me. It is the one thing that makes me feel sorry for Andy. He doesn't and didn't have what I do and that is all of you.

On another note: I have been listening to a lot of Star 1013 fm and find that I very much like Don Bleu in the Morning. He just seems like a really cool guy and funny too. For those of you not in the area, you too can listen to Star 1013 fm like I do by going to www.star1013fm.com and, under on air, select 'Listen Live'. I will warn you that a lot of the music is Top 40/Adult Contemporary/Pop/Soft Rock, so if you don't like that sort, don't worry your pretty lil heads over it. I find that sort of music helps make my day go by a little quicker and I like that.

I have another appointment today with the therapist that I started seening shortly after FC. It looks like I have very good mental health coverage through VTA and PacificCare, unfortunately it also means that I am going to need to switch therapists. The one good thing though is that there is a therapist in the same building as the one I am going to that is a provider for my insurance and my therapist even suggested that I see her. So that I hope goes through without much of a hitch.
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Well, it will be 3 weeks come Friday since I've moved out of the house and away from Andy. I have tried to limit my contact with him as well, but I don't think he has gotten the point, though I could be wrong. I haven't heard anything from him in the past few days. Of course, I did not respond to his asking me out to dinner or coffee text message last weekend. You see, I know that I said to give me a month before we talk about seeing each other. It registered as a week to him, in some way, I don't know how, but there you have it.

And here is the part that bothers me a little... I'm not missing him. I'm still angry, I'm still upset, I still want to be away and I stil don't want to see him.

I've been enjoying my new found freedom a bit by doing things that I don't get to do very often. I've attended an ACC Cribbage Tournament in Antioch, I've had a couple friends over to watch a movie or some Animaniacs, hung out with a friend at BJ's Brewhouse for some cribbage last Thursday, I'm going to be rejoining melchar's Sunday afternoon RPG, drove to Berkeley for a fondue gathering put together by victor_cow and there might even be a zoo trip this weekend. 

I'm also eating a bit better, making my own coffee in the morning, eating what I want to, going to bed when I want, climbing up and down stairs everyday (I live on the 2nd floor now you see and no elevator), and even playing some Guitar Hero without worrying about a complaining Andy.  I would like to start going to the onsite exercise room, but I am still trying to find the time to go without staying up too late or getting up too early. I'll probably go over to that exercise room Sunday morning and take a look at what all they have.  If nothing else, I can do some sort of work out weekend mornings if I pull myself out of bed to do it.

Current Location: Work
Current Mood: accomplished accomplished
Current Music: Prince - Little Red Corvette

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We go through life today with the idea that I am good, I am fine, I am just like every one esle, or atleast that is what we are suppose to believe. So, tell me, who made that ruling? Who set the societal bar that we measure ourselves to? And if we don't measure up to that point, we feel bad about ourselve and our situation. So many of us have what is labeled 'self-esteem' problems. Yes, that is right, I have a self-esteem problem. Mine, however, comes from my lowered opinion of my looks, my body, even though I feel quite comfortable in my own skin. And, even I've noticed, that many guys don't find me unattractive. But that is just it, where did this come from for me? Who am I measuring myself to in order to make me feel less than I should? When I ponder that question, I come up with one answer: me. I'm not looking at other women going, 'Oh, she is more attractive than me.' I'm looking at myself and going, 'You are attractive, but you need to tell yourself that you aren't for some reason because you should.' Well that's it. I told that voice to shut the heck up. There is no should. I am attractive. I am worth a good guy. And, sure, there are things that I am working on to make myself more appealing, but those are because it would make me healthier.

Current Mood: determined determined
Current Music: Star 101.3

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I just came to the realization today that I am an over planner at times. When there is something I'm very excited about or nervous about, or god forbid, both, I try and plan it into the ground. I don't know why though. I think, in the case of nervous, it gives me the sense of being more in control. When I feel out of control, I get nervous and try and grasp at strings, straw and the occasional proverbial Iron Skillet that hits me in the head before plunging me into the abyss of chaos. And excited, well that one is easy. I start to over plan my time because I don't want to miss a thing! I want to see it all, I want to do it all. I want to schedule my life that way if I could and still have friends who weren't annoyed by it. I guess that it is one reason that I enjoyed and will enjoy being FC Events. I get to schedule things that I want to do and things that others want to do and work out all the kinks and still pleasing others all at the same time. What joy it brings me to make others happy as well as myself. Til next time... Genevive aka Elizabeth
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Well, for the longest time, I've tried to find an IM program to run on my work system. You see, work is VERY close minded to folks actually having other things to make their day go by quicker and more pleasantly. This being said, the computer systems are very limited in what permissions you have at loading things. Well, I found GAIM today through LiveJournal and am not using it to post this message. I do hope that this continues to work because I find my day goes back A LOT quicker when I have my friends to talk to. So if you see me on AIM, Yahoo or LJTalk, drop me a line. Just know that during the day, I'll be at work, so just take that into consideration.
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What to be FC007 Staff?
We are still (as always) looking for folks who would like to work as staff AT CON for FC007.

Positions to be Filled:
  • Hospitality Staff
  • Creator's Lounge Staff
  • Art Show Cashier
  • Logistics Staff
  • InfoDesk
  • Dealer's Room
  • FCTV Camera Operator
  • AV Staff


If you have any interest, please respond to this thread or send an email to HR@furtherconfusion.org

Thank you for your time,

 
Genevive Fox
FC07 Executive Secretary/HR Lead
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We are still (as always) looking for folks who would like to work as staff AT CON for FC007.

Positions to be Filled:
  • Hospitality Staff
  • Creator's Lounge Staff
  • Art Show Staff
  • ConStore Staff
  • Logistics Staff
  • Volunteers Staff

If you have any interest, please respond to this thread or send an email to HR@futherconfusion.org.

Thank you for your time,

 
Genevive Fox
FC07 Executive Secretary/HR Lead

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